bsw

So I am starting the social work program at PSU in September and I have to write an essay for the application (I can imagine everyone I know here going, "so wait you haven't actually gotten it yet?" just like every time I assumed I would get a house or job). I haven't written an essay in maybe 9 months and I tried to just start writing on this subject of "Why Do You Want to Be a Social Worker?"

I just wrote this hoping it would evolve but it went further and further from being what they are probably looking for:

I want to have a career in social work because I need to pick something. I have always had a drive to change the world, battle the evils, and be a superhero but as the days keep coming, the more I am realizing that this battle is more subtle than I had imagined. Individuals are becoming more conscious in regards to production and consumption, as well as humanity and diversity. During which, large autonomous bodies of power such as corporations and governments are becoming less concerned with the very same subject matter. As this fight continues, we (and I say “we” as referring to the collection of individual human bodies) are lucky if we break even. We are lucky if we live in a culture that allows us to choose happily-produced, well-lived, and securely traded products. Because only by consuming consciously are we contributing at all the superhero team. But this is only one part of the cycle, are we not to assume that the currency you are using is coming from somewhere? So this brings the questions of who you are working for, what do they do, and what are you doing? Let me complete my previous statement: I want to have a career in social work because I need to pick something and social work is the one and only thing I could imagine devoting my time and my talents to. I don’t want to work for corporate profit, I don’t want to work to consume or produce. This battle is heated enough on the field of our everyday lives and for 40 hours a week I will be safe. I want to work in social work because for those working hours I am a human interacting with other humans because that’s what we’re made for. We’ll talk about problems, about the battlefield, and about food and technology and love and fear. I am really good at talking, I am really good at listening. I was made for this career like I was made to be a human.

quejarse

Marianna and I were sitting at the beach, she was writing in her journal and I pulled mine out to do the same so she asked me if I write in mine everyday like she does. I laughed and showed her the half page which I had written in September and the half page which I was then about to write four months later. My blog writing habits are apparently only a little bit better.

BARR lyrics:
“And there is no need to even complete a thought because the situation is so whole and complete itself.”

I finally remember the word for “complain” after being sick for over two weeks. I felt it coming on New Years Eve and opted to go out anyway, knowing I would be sick the next day. My lovely life has been otherwise kind to me.
A few days after the turn of the year, I went to go visit some friends in Huancayo. MEJORC decided that we will pursue a partnership with Expand Peru, which is a non-profit based out of Huancayo. So, I went and stayed with my beautiful Huancaina family, met some of their new volunteers, and gave big hugs and kisses to the old ones. Marianna and I packed bags full of movies, blankets, pizza, and chips and took it all over to the orphanage for a pajama party! I love those kids, but jesus they can be jerks. Actually it’s pretty funny because they are all young and stuffed with hormones so supervising a pajama party was like remembering the days of old surrounded by sexually-frustrated high-school band nerds. We went out to dinner another night and this nightclub that they always talk about but that I had never been to. The dudes from Denmark were so confused when we left at 3am to go home. Europeans party way too hard for me sometimes.
Marianna, Virginia, and I all took the top VIP night bus back to Lima together. It was my first experience on a bus cama and I felt like I was in first class on an airplane or something. Spending a week with these two girls was super fun and really helpful with the varying levels of language competence. I was able to ask when I didn’t know a word in Spanish AND I learned how to say a variety of useful French phrases!
During the weekend I could feel I was getting pretty sick again but decided to continue in my plans to go with Marianna and Ruben to Punta Hermosa, a beach about half an hour south of Lima. We went and stayed at an incredible house there with really lovely people, a balcony, and of course an ocean. The waves felt great and the food our hosts cooked was in every way magnificent but my black sinus cloud dampened my time. I ended up leaving a day earlier than everyone else. I felt sorry for myself that an otherwise good time was ruined but then I realized if I was going to be sick anyway, no better place to do it than lying on a warm beach all day, right?

The food I having been eating lately makes me indescribably happy. A strange little shiver of annoyance washes over me when I think about returning to American food. It would be one of my top reasons to never come home again.

So now I am lying in bed surrounded in my own germs, a mug of tea, and soda crackers. I am thinking about instead lying in the hammock of a balcony in Punta Hermosa and Marianna calling to me from inside, “Mónica? Estás muriendo?” because I do in fact feel like I am dying.