none of you should see this in time

Mostly because you should all be hanging out with loved ones and eating the most delicious foods on earth.

I just now realized it is Thanksgiving! Normally I try to write blog entries ahead of time but I think I'll improv this one. I am writing this to say hi to my family on a day that they love and enjoy because it usually means being close to each other and bathing in the warmth of kind words and dangerously full stomachs. The years that I haven't been around my family, I try to call or send them a video (even though one year it was just all my friends singing tubthumping by chumbawumba) and this year I pretty much did nothing at all. Am I trying to say that this is an apologetic blog post? Yes.

When we sit at the table we do that thing where we all go "I'm thankful for blahblahblah" so here is my table-round family warmth turkey cranberry thing:

I am thankful that I potentially know more about myself than I ever have and understand that it will continue throughout my whole life. I am thankful for the constant change in roommates that I have and that my current one gave me a singing lesson while I laid on the ground about an hour ago. I am thankful to finally be able to speak properly with half of my ancestry. Throughout this experience I have talked with plenty of people who point out the total absurdity in social work and in the idea that I would continue trying to do anything for a world that is going DOWN. I am thankful that I skype-said to my mom "I have decided I am going to be a doctor" while I looked up the Social Inequality PhD Program at PSU. Why am I thankful for that? Because it means I am still dreaming way higher than any of my past has taught me is reasonable. This list could go so far right now. Every year I am thankful for my friends and my family because you know that when you say "it'll be fine" you mean that the entire world could disappear but if you had a few key people everything would always "be fine." But this year, it feels bigger. I think I have myself now and I am not sure I did before. So I am thankful that I exist and that after accepting a lot of shit about myself I still like what came out and am still willing to share it with everyone else.

I can't say "that's all" because it definitely isn't. I love you guys, have an awesome Christmas, New Years, President's Day, etc.